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Old 22nd January 2014, 06:36 PM   #286
chosen
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Originally Posted by magneto View Post
Pornography is definitely considered sexual imorality, and their is no physical act.
Yes, and some believe that long term unrepentant porn use is a reason to end a marriage, but its still not adultery. I think you are looking for loopholes to end your marriage.
There is no loophole that will allow you to Biblically end a marriage just because you think you dont love your wife enough.
YOu can still do it, that's your choice, but its not Biblically allowed. When you think that most marriages in OT times were arranged, I am sure that many of them didnt have that romantic type love either.
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Old 22nd January 2014, 07:23 PM   #287
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Give both of you a chance to be happy.
At this point that is all I want to do. like I said, she has had a change of heart, which makes this difficult now.
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Old 22nd January 2014, 07:51 PM   #288
Raymond
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

I always view porn as a kind of mental adultery which can reach the stage of being practically adultery as it is a diversion of the sexual drive, but of course it is not actual adultery even though it is in the heart as Jesus pointed out.

Are you trying to trip yourself up Magneto so that you have a reason for divorce?
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Old 23rd January 2014, 10:00 AM   #289
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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I always view porn as a kind of mental adultery which can reach the stage of being practically adultery as it is a diversion of the sexual drive, but of course it is not actual adultery even though it is in the heart as Jesus pointed out.

Are you trying to trip yourself up Magneto so that you have a reason for divorce?
Trip myself up? Not sure what you mean. I don't feel I need a biblical reason for divorce. I have my reasons, some of which I have already stated.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 10:04 AM   #290
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Originally Posted by chosen View Post
Yes, and some believe that long term unrepentant porn use is a reason to end a marriage, but its still not adultery. I think you are looking for loopholes to end your marriage.
There is no loophole that will allow you to Biblically end a marriage just because you think you dont love your wife enough.
YOu can still do it, that's your choice, but its not Biblically allowed. When you think that most marriages in OT times were arranged, I am sure that many of them didnt have that romantic type love either.
I don't think, I know I don't love her the way I should. And I know that is not fair to her.

Not that this applies, but do you think people who have arranged marriages have a biblical reason for divorce. Not that it is talked about much, but I know a few christians who have had what I would call arranged marriages.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 11:09 AM   #291
chosen
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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I don't think, I know I don't love her the way I should. And I know that is not fair to her.

Not that this applies, but do you think people who have arranged marriages have a biblical reason for divorce. Not that it is talked about much, but I know a few christians who have had what I would call arranged marriages.
Well God never said that did he. He gives the reasons where divorce is allowed as opposed to separation. I have never heard of any Christian arranged marriages, but I would like to ask why the people involved allowed themselves to be forced into an 'arranged' marriage.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 12:44 PM   #292
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Trip myself up? Not sure what you mean. I don't feel I need a biblical reason for divorce. I have my reasons, some of which I have already stated.
Okay. I just thought that your thoughts on lust in the heart being adultery had something to do with it.

Jesus was saying they commit adultery in the heart alhough doing it for real would be different of course.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 12:57 PM   #293
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Arranged marriages used to be quite the norm in nearly every country in the world at one time but divorce was still divorce. Even in Britain during the victorian era and back it existed. I suppose people just trusted their parents to ge it right and could have a bit of input. Divorce was rare.

I suspect it existed in Israel at the time of Jesus but I haven't studied it.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:05 PM   #294
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Well God never said that did he. He gives the reasons where divorce is allowed as opposed to separation. I have never heard of any Christian arranged marriages, but I would like to ask why the people involved allowed themselves to be forced into an 'arranged' marriage.
So you have never met people in church whose parents basically forced them together. Now, it may not be the same as what goes on in say Indian culture, but I know plenty of people pressured into marrying children of other church members by their parents.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:07 PM   #295
chosen
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Arranged marriages used to be quite the norm in nearly every country in the world at one time but divorce was still divorce. Even in Britain during the victorian era and back it existed. I suppose people just trusted their parents to ge it right and could have a bit of input. Divorce was rare.

I suspect it existed in Israel at the time of Jesus but I haven't studied it.
Yes it did, and Mary and Josephs marriage was almost certainly arranged by their parents.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:09 PM   #296
chosen
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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So you have never met people in church whose parents basically forced them together. Now, it may not be the same as what goes on in say Indian culture, but I know plenty of people pressured into marrying children of other church members by their parents.
No I have never known or seen this in 40 years as a Christian.
On the contrary all the young people I know chose their own spouses, and actually I have known very few believers who met their spouses in their own church anyway.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:10 PM   #297
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Okay. I just thought that your thoughts on lust in the heart being adultery had something to do with it.

Jesus was saying they commit adultery in the heart alhough doing it for real would be different of course.

Your interpretation is that it is different, but I know people, some clergy who think it is one in the same (adultery of the mind and adultery of the flesh). My point to that was simply that christians have many views on the same topics (pick and choose) and decide what to interpret or take verbatim based on their leadership or own thoughts.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:16 PM   #298
Raymond
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Thank you Chosen. There is a big difference in an arranged marriage and a forced marriage.

You are saying Magneto that you felt forced into it by peer pressure? It was still your decision as far as I can see. You would have had lots of time of think about it. Your wife was obviously in good faith. What happens to your child let alone your wife?
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:22 PM   #299
Raymond
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Funny the divorce rate in arranged marriages seems to be only 4%.

I suppose if you didn't love the person you was arranged with you just had to learn to. That was part of how it worked I suppose.
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Old 23rd January 2014, 01:28 PM   #300
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

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Thank you Chosen. There is a big difference in an arranged marriage and a forced marriage.

You are saying Magneto that you felt forced into it by peer pressure? It was still your decision as far as I can see. You would have had lots of time of think about it. Your wife was obviously in good faith. What happens to your child let alone your wife?
I have no idea what your talking about... I never said i was forced into anything. I was just asking a hypothetical question. I know people who had tremendous pressure to marry within the church. I wasn't talking about myself.
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