Re: Divorce
Dear Ann-Marie,
You are wise to be concerned about your husband’s behaviour towards the children. You hint that there are other things that have not gone well between you and only you know whether there is no alternative to divorce.
I assume that you have considered counselling either with a secular or church based organisation. You say that he is like this because of his own upbringing – are you open to the possibility that he could change, given the right help?
Turning to your main question about divorce, some Christians believe that you should never divorce, others recognise that there are circumstances when one spouse’s behaviour is tantamount to them breaking their vows and then the injured party should do all they can to sort things out, but in the end are free to end the marriage, when the other spouse is determined to continue in their ways. Some theologians believe that Jesus said we should not break up a marriage for any old reason, but that if one spouse was refusing support, comfort or was being unfaithful, then the other could divorce after they had tried to be reconciled. You alone know whether there is no other way forward. Certainly you should protect your children from any behaviour that is abusive.
When you say you don’t love this man anymore, what are you saying? Do you mean you no longer have loving feelings for him? Or do you mean you are not willing to go on loving him, acting lovingly towards him because he has hurt you so much and threatens the well being of your children. Love is a choice and action not just an emotion.
I would really encourage you to go and talk to your pastor or minister for their guidance and support. You will need the support of your local Christian community whatever you decide to do.
Liz
|