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Old 22nd June 2011, 04:47 AM   #316
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

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Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
That is a charming story, Chosen, and your good fortune he was not married to another or someone of the same sex.

I saw an expose' TV program where they introduced couples who corresponded on the internet. There were several rude shocks in this group including one who sent a roomates photo instead of her own. You could see she was hugely overweight and overage for the man involved..nothing like photo of person he thought he corresponded with . He was deceived. Be imagined her as that lady...so he became serious from their correspendence. He was deeply hurt by the truth. That was a sad incident.

I think it is harder today for couples to meet and connect. We used to lived in smaller communities so got introduced to others or grew up in a neighborhood. It would be interesting to know how others on the site connected and if it was instant or a friendship developed.
Yes you can meet good and bad on the inetrnet,(and I had experience of both), but one I joined was a fairly local one which was also a Christian one. I had been on two different Christisn ones on and off for 2 years before we met, but I knew almost immediatly that he was the one(and he had no photo up at that time)just by his profile and what he wrote in his e-mails. Maybe I just sensed that he was different.
Maybe because I has corresponded with so many over that period, I recognised a good man when I met one, and because he was only 40 mins drive away, we met very quickly.

Interestingly, among Christians, it is becomimg a very common way for couples to meet. MY son met his lovely wife on a Christian site(they married a few weeks ago), and my daughter also met her fiance on the same one as her brother(getting married next year). My son had about 30 women contacting him(he is a very good looking guy) but again he sensed that she was 'the one', and even though she was from the North of England and we are form the south, he felt to contact her, and they never looked back. He says he knew way before they met that she was special and the one he wanted to marry, and they didnt actually meet for 2 months because of the distance.

I also know about 4 or 5 other Christian couples who met their spouses this way as well. Unless you go to an enormous church you just dont get to meet many available people of your own age (especially when you are in your 40's as I was).
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Old 22nd June 2011, 05:03 AM   #317
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Chosen..

We know you are very opinionated about most subjects. Whether you have cosmetic surgery or wear cosmetics is your choice. Maybe you are in a rut and can use some light makeup. That you equate the desire to make positive changes with vanity or as a pitfall, is faulty reasoning. Others feel differently about what is right for them and what they will do to appear healthier, younger and more attractive. People often make radical life changes when they feel more confident about themselves.

I never regret the self improvement that included cosmetic surgery for those things that lend a more youthful and nicer look. If one is a professional, youthful attractive appearance makes all the difference in the world. I once owned a personnel agency. I had more than one aspiring job applicant who did not get the job because of the grey hair or extra pounds she had put on while she was a housewife. One interviewer I knew well confided in me after he met her that he felt she looked like a throwback to ancient times. He wanted a woman who displayed fashion sense. That was the one who got the job....a lady 3 years junior of the first applicant. She was my applicant as well but she went looking like she could do the job. A lovely suit, well coiffed with manicure, she reflected what the biz owner wanted in his store.

Yes, the feedback on the first lady was she was not attractive and dowdy. She was not trendy enough to be in a key position dealing with beauty and the public. I suggested a hair tone and wardrobe change and loaned her a suit for the next interview. She got that job.

Like the early bird who gets the worm, women still are judged on exteriors. That is a fact of life. A man picks the woman who is more attractive. Women select men usually by personality, humor, and kindness and are less keyed by looks. Job applicants surveys were done on who they felt could better do the job. The most attractive and youthful photos were judged to have better skills. So all that buzz about these things not counting is ridiculous. Aging matters. If one can look outside as they feel inside, they will have a more vitale life. Chosen, If you opt out of that truth, don't be surprised if your mans' eyes notice trendier women of fashion.

My point being that women who care about their marriages have a responsibility to maintain appearance so they can be like the sultans' wife. She refelcts him. A man has the duty to keep fit and healthy for his mate. I know what cosmetic surgery did for me. It does turn back the clock. The body, post childbirth and 50+, takes some dives. Some can be maintained and some just need to be renewed, like tires on the car.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 22nd June 2011 at 05:25 AM.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 10:24 AM   #318
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I can see that you just dont see that we are fine as we are, and that we dont need to have our bodies cut open/ filled up/sucked out or lifted up to live happy fulfilled lives, have good jobs, or to have good and happy marriages.The women that I know who seem to have the happiest marriages and lives are those who dont wear make up(and none of us have had surgery).They love each other the way they are and for who they are.

I do find it strange that you think a woman who doesn't wear make up, and has no desire to do so, must be in a rut. Well for me it must be a very long rut, as I have rarely worn it since my teens and I am now 55! I dont believe that painting my face with all sorts of chemicals every day is a good idea, or that it is needed. I accept the way God made me.It doesnt bother me if others do, but its not for me. My hope is that I look as good as my aunts do when I get to their age,( but not through surgery).

MY step son went out with a girl who used to wear make up. As soon as she found out that he wasnt botherd about it, she stopped and was actually quite relieved and pleased that he accepted her as she was.(like father like son). My sons wife very occasionally wears a small amount, maybe if they are going to a party or wedding, but he isnt bothered either, and she looks beautiful with or without it anyway.

I have realised now that you simply cant comprehend how any woman can possibly think they dont want or need to do this, or to have surgery if their body isnt as it was 20 or 30 years ago.I suppose it must be the environment that you have lived in and the people that you mix with for whom looks are more or less everything. I do think that the western world idolises looks above everything that is important. Still we are all affected by those around us and how we were bought up arent we.

My husband hates cosmetic surgery, dosnt like lots of make up, doesnt want or need me to wear it, and isnt the least bit interested in women who do these things to themselves. If a man does run off with another woman just because his wife has a few wrinkles, then he isnt worth having anyway. If a woman has to have operation after operation to keep her man then what does that say about their marriage and about the sort of man he is? I feel sorry for a woman who feels she has to have surgery to keep her man interested. What a horrible way to have to live.
All this reminds me of Hugh Heffner(ugh) and what a gross and unappealing man he is.

What makes me weep is that millions of poor people who need relatively small operations that would change their lives cant afford them,(such as repairing hair lips in children or cataract operations for the elderly) and billions are being spent on operations that are totally unnessessary.

Still the cosmetic surgeons are happy of course. Shame they cant put their skills to better use though.

Last edited by chosen; 22nd June 2011 at 11:06 AM.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 11:13 AM   #319
Chamomile
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

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Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
Dear Chamomile..

It is hard not to feel victimized when ones' trust has been damaged by such an incident. When you discuss this, try not to blow a cork sky high like we women will do! Been there, done that, I say. He must take responsibility and acknowledge the act. Ask him if he feels lonely that he reached out to another when you are right here. You are lonely too.

Men are pretty dense. Internet tools are easy tools and destructive to many marriages. I can't fathom how people get "friends" they never saw/know of opposite sex and claim they fall in love over a keyboard! So many divorceds over just this subject.

Spend more alone time without TV or media as a challenging board game or walk and tune in to each other. Perhaps you have friends to go for outing. Date night is effective. Good luck.
XOXX
1aokgal
Hiya 1aokgal xxx

You said about really Good things. ((Hugs)) When the weather is a little nicer, I tend to spend more time in the toasty conservatory. My h and I had our dinner together Sat evening there. (you know we don't live together at the moment?) My h is a very quiet chap with a set of established beliefs and values which are almost untouchable. He never invited me in his place no matter how many times I had hinted (I saw it once when he first moved in late in 2009). Recently, he had to let me use his bathroom (e.g. boiler issue)..He said he would tidy up before I come in. I could not believe 1) it was absolutely filthy compared to the clean state I saw before 2) his hoarding of antique..

You are so right about Media. Luckily, I don't play games though I love "real" stories on tv. I manage to go to church once a week at the moment and I go to other meetings. As you know I got this illness (Epilepsy) and I haven't been too well, which is one of the reasons why my marriage got so shaky. There are so many assessments at hospitals I had to go to, quite a few a month. I was no longer able to do things I was able to before. My brain got pretty messed up and I had trouble walking. I was in a wheelchair at some point. I'm still not fully recovered to be honest whilst I made quite a few new friends who had similar problems and see them when I can.

Your assessment re. my h is pretty accurate, me thinks. Maybe, you are one of those ppl who had gone through a lot and you can just "tell". I was always self-sufficient and I enjoy doing my own things so as my h (which I had thought or assumed). We don't demand from each others. He had his passionate hobbies (antique collecting) I never complained about. He's into "objects" and not a regular pub going type which appealed as neither of us drink. It's hard to tell if he was lonely as he never said he was unhappy or lonely. But it became rather obvious and you are so right about that. Our focus of our therapy would probably move away from this soon as there are other issues to deal with (there are a few..x) and we are planning to live together eventually. So far, thanks to all the wonderful team of members, my marriage had improved so much and I feel tremendously supported. Thank you & triple hugs xxx
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Old 22nd June 2011, 11:21 AM   #320
Chamomile
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

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Have to admit that I fell in love over a keyboard and we have now been happily married for several years. Mind you we did speak to each other on the phone after 2 days of e-mailing lots of times, and then met only 4 days after the first e-mail, but it was the content of all the e-mails that made me sure he was the one who I wanted to marry. I knew even before we met.
However the internet can cause so many problems for marriages, as you have found out chamomile.
I am so glad that things have improved for you since coming onto this site though.
Hi Chosen xxx

Thank you for your compassion and care as always

Yes, there are Good things using Internet. Not sure if anyone saw the program yesterday about men in their 50s and 60s who found out about their school mates who were also abused by the same priests, who are nowadays either dead or in a care home. Truths came out through their Internet website. There are so many bad things re. Internet are said but there are also good which is quite tremendous.

xxx
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Old 22nd June 2011, 11:24 AM   #321
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

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Hi Chosen xxx

Thank you for your compassion and care as always

Yes, there are Good things using Internet. Not sure if anyone saw the program yesterday about men in their 50s and 60s who found out about their school mates who were also abused by the same priests, who are nowadays either dead or in a care home. Truths came out through their Internet website. There are so many bad things re. Internet are said but there are also good which is quite tremendous.

xxx
Thank you chamomile. As you say there is such good on the internet and also such bad and evil.
I didnt see the programme but it must be a great comfort to all those poor men who can now have some support from each other.
Blessings
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Old 22nd June 2011, 11:29 AM   #322
Chamomile
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Chosen xxx

Yes, that is so true.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 12:58 PM   #323
Raymond
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Back to outward appearance. My wife also wears no make up and was extreme the other way. I have been encouraging her for years to dress attractively and she has gotten hold of it and looks better dressed now than she ever did. Mainly wearing things which actually suit her now. Talk about modesty. I don't know anyone as modest as her. She doesn't realise how attractive she is and it doesn't bother her at all. I have gotten her to wear ear rings sometimes now which really suit her. As a man I do like her to make the best of herself and it is coming out of her now more than when we were first married. She has now learned to wear light make-up for special occasions which is nice sometimes

Of course the inner adorning is far more important but nevertheless I do like to see an attractive woman around the house. To be honest it does make me look forward to the bedroom if she is dressed in clothes that suit her. That attitude is important to me but not to the extreme of course which might be unbalanced.

With regard to surgical procedures we are a million miles from that and I can never see that ever happening with her. Not that she needs it anyway. I think the inner beauty comes out naturally but it might need a little bit of help in a self respecting kind of way.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 02:00 PM   #324
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I agree Raymond. I like to dress nicely(usually sort of smart causual) and I do wear earrings and a couple of rings and sometimes other jewellery as well (but never over the top). I have my hair cut regularly, and also coloured.
I like to make sure my clothes match and look good colourwise, and go for nice colours that others say suit me (which is usually pink and/or purple) I do dress quite modesty, such as I wont wear low cot tops that show any cleavage at all, or short skirts or short dresses,or anything see through or too clingy, but I think I am pretty balanced about that. My husband likes women to dress modestly as well, he finds it far more attractive than women who go round 'letting it all hang out' as it were.

I think that my point is that we can make best of ourselves without resorting to drastic measures. If your wife wanted to have an operation for purely cosmetic reasons what would you think Raymond.? I know that my husband would hate it.I am glad that he feels that way.

My husbands ex is the only woman I have even known personally who has had a cosmetic proceedure, and it was having something done to the bags under her eyes. He didnt want her to have it done and he said he couldnt notice anything different after wards, and it cost a lot of money as well. She is however quite OC about having to look young and staying ultra thin(she is verging on the anoexeric according to mutual friends). She isnt very happy I dont think,and is quite driven.

Isnt it sad that women feel they need to have such drastic surgery just to keep their husband from straying? What have we come to? Why this obssession to have to look young all the time? What is wrong with a few wrinkles round our eyes(or laughter lines as they are sometimes called)? Why is it so terrible to age gracefully and with dignity? You just cannot hold back time. We all age and we all die, and all we can do is to delay its effect for a few years.It catches up with everyone in the end.

Last edited by chosen; 22nd June 2011 at 02:39 PM.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 02:54 PM   #325
Forever
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Yes Chosen and Raymond, but you are being reasonable here. I am married to the very type of man who lusts after younger women, so that does color my world. He was married to a real natural beauty before me but that did not stop him from adultery on many levels...my make over wont stop him from doing the same to me, only God can deal with that tendency in him.

I am doing this for my own self esteem which has gone straight to the toilet in spite of being considered relatively attractive by other men...from being married to the kind of man I have. I am drawing closer to God and believe that if He wants to "weigh in" and re-direct me He will...I am counting on Him. As history marches on, many things avail us both cosmetically and in the world of medicine. Even the houses we live in and the food we have available to us are fit for a king, but I do not think God is opposed to any of this.

This is not the same as having "confidence in the flesh", as if the only kind of beauty and value I have is coming from my outward appearance or by what we have or own. This is about being the best I can be, and if my husband strays regardless of my efforts, it wont be because I let my self go to pots or because I was unkind or unloving to him. It will be because he still has an unfaithful heart for which he will have to answer to God for.

If I believed God was actually opposed to taking steps for looking attractive, especially as women, I would not do it. But my understanding is that He made men to be attracted to women, both on the outside first, then on the inside...whereas God is concerned with our inner beauty first and foremost. It has been this way from the beginning of mankind, and to try and fight the facts is insane. This does not mean however, that we cannot have both as long as we do not flaunt it or draw confidence in it to the degree that we become haughty and vain or forget that our primary goal is inner beauty.

Chosen, your world is vastly different because of the kind of husband you have. I am happy for you and hope it will always be that way for you. My husband is not like yours, my occupational life is public (I own a jewelry store), and my convictions are open to God concerning this issue. I suspect that many of the women who contemplate doing what I wish to do have been traumatized by someone important to them...I know I have, or perhaps they are driven by making men drool which is sin. But at the same time, I am very open to allowing God to take charge and "call the shots" about what He would prefer I do or not do. So far, He does not condemn me.

Last edited by Forever; 22nd June 2011 at 03:39 PM.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 04:41 PM   #326
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I am an advocate for plastic surgery for women who want and need to improve where "mean old mother nature" doesn't hold in proper places or lets sag. My first breast surgery was a godsend and not done for cosmetic. I developed a breast disease when I was about 31 .Tumors would grow and need to be removed. Two removal surgeries showed grape clusters of this tissue and lucky for me were not yet cancer. The safe remedy suggested by my surgeon was replaced tissue with implant and removal of underlying bad tissue. My insurance paid the costs. The by-product was no horrible mastectomy and youthful, safe breast tissue and enhanced self esteem. I was then attending college, worked and with children. It might also have been a life saver.

My surgeon donates the skills of his office to Operation Smile as they journey world centers and operate free on children with cleft palates and other terrible deformities. That is part of numerous plastic surgery groups here in this area. So plastic surgery is not just for spoiled, rich women who want plastic boobs.

The implants needed to replaced a few years later for problems and I decided to have the nose redone and other things to improve what I desired. One works on the inner beauty with classes, self improvement courses, meditation and spiritual seeking in faith. I was in a beauty business so pricey tailored suits, light makeup and youthful appearance meant my paychecks. Many women find that these improvements improve overall health as they work harder to maintain good health into post 50 years.

In no way do I address Chosen who feels all posts are directed her way.
Most women understand balance where beauty is part of the reponsibility of each of us. I love great perfume. I have many favorites, and a lovely scent does not take the place of a clean, washed body and facial buffed skin care. Both are added ways to express who we are
as well as the books, hobbies and search for knowledge that never ends for any of us. That is the beauty of a woman. No heavy makeup will hide bad, unclean skin but light tone does give sun coverage and add perk to make one look healthy.

If we can add youth and vibrance with better living with chemicals, add some toner to the hair and bath bubbles to the tub. These are all tools and don't replace faith nor mask a heart that is closed.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 22nd June 2011 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 05:37 PM   #327
chosen
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Forever you have a good attitude by being open to Gods leading. This is how we should be. I can totally understand that having a husband who drools over young women is incredibly painful, and as you say, even if you were the most attractive women ever he would probably still do this as he did with his first wife.

I know that we will never agree on this, because I feel that I have a reasonable balance, and others feel l that I am somehow 'in a rut'(I am not) or that my husband will be driven to a younger woman (which he isnt and wont) just because my idea of making the most of my self and my body is less extreem than theirs.
Even though we dont agree, I can totally understand why, in your circumstances, you feel that you need to make yourself feel better, because your husband makes you feel old and unnattractive, but that also makes me so sad for your situation, and also for any other women who feel they need to have parts of their body operated on and changed to keep their man. Isnt that just so tragic?Isnt that just so shallow of their men?Isnt marriage more than that?It makes me want to weep that women such as you dont feel loved and accepted and wanted as they are.

I do all I can to keep healthy and fit, as does my husband, but we arent 25 any more and who cares if we get a few wrinkles? Outward appearance is idolised these days especially in the USA above all the important things in life. It is one of todays big 'idols' I believe, that The Bible speaks about.For some women their bodies are their idols.Looks are all that matter.

Yes men are attracted to womens appearance, and many women take great advanatage of this by the way they dress and other things, but why do we need to let ourselves be ruled by what man says? We are worth more than this, more than allowing oursleves to be pressured by society into having the surgeon cut up our bodies, while also risking infection, damage, permanent harm and even death.

It has shown me however, how totally different our two countries are, and I sincerely hope that it stays this way, in this area at least.

Whatever you decide with Our heavenly Dad Forever, I hope that you have peace about it, and that even now your husband may change and see you for the lovely beautiful lady that you are.
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Old 22nd June 2011, 05:45 PM   #328
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Dear Chamomile XXOO.....

You sound really cute ..like we americans think the british sound with lovely Oxford english. We are separated, they say, by the same language. So your husband collects antiques? What kind of antiques..any special items or period? What does he do with them? I get the feeling your husband may be older than you? Are you both the same nationality? I wonder why he has to "invite" you and why it is a big deal you use the bathroom there? You both seem to have too many secrets between you and seem not able to talk about things that bother you.

You know your illness was considered the "sacred disease and the royal disease". That is because many family of the crown had the disease as Prince John, the son of George V. Did you know you share this illness with Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar? There are many famous, talented people in history as the poet, Lord Byron, who we read about with this problem. Is this petite mal or grand mal for you?

It was interesting to see a TV program awhile back about service dogs, companion dogs that are trained to scent the incidents before they occur. They can warn a minute ahead by barking. Dogs used for this job are amazing.

How long is it since you both lived together? Do you work or does this limit your life a lot?
It is hard to live with illness and I imagine there is some anger as we wonder why this has happened to us and not others. Illness can be a tremendous challenge but it can also prove to be our finest moments. It is how we overcome the problems we each face that shows what God has given us in place of that area where the disease lives. There are all the compensations we can appreciate that we do have. We have sight to enjoy beautiful things like the red, Cardinal bird that lands here on my back patio every day. He peeks in at me and he loves the lovely deep bowl bird bath shaped with a base like swans curled around it. He bathes and preens and makes a spectacle of himself. I hope my new camera zoom lense will capture him as he plays.

I can thank God mine is a heart problem. I still have my sight to greet this little guy each day. It is so wonderful to pick badly at the piano, to hear the beauty of it, even though I have little talent to play the sheet music that calls my name. It sounds different in my head than it does from the keyboard. Imagination replaces the discord with the classical piece I would like to play. When we open ourselves to the feel of cool water on our skin and the drama we see on these TV movies or we can cry, we give meaning to life. That is not the disease, it is all the other senses we have so we won't feel cheated or have self pity. The limitations are smaller by comparison to how much is good about our lives.

It sounds as if your husband and you lost making time for each other. Watching TV together is not making time that is quality for each other. Walking, playing with the dog together or talking about what you found about each other you really like, that is also making love.
You deserve to have this man able to listen to the fears you have. When one has an illness they want to reach out to the one they care about. I hope the quality of your time together improves.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 23rd June 2011 at 12:52 AM.
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Old 23rd June 2011, 04:16 AM   #329
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I just read all your threads and I have an opinion on this subject. I was a model in my youth so I know how to wear make up but make up was never meant to make us look fake. It started out as make up just enchancing what we already have. Some women go to the extreme.

I agree with both opinions. Not so much the plastic surgery, because you are right, God gave us this body and what's inside is more important but if you are married you want to look your best for your man. I'm not talking necessarily about surgery but putting on make up when you go out with your h is a good thing. When i'm home during the day I don't wear make up at every moment but when I go out I do.

You put on make up for yourself and so you can look nice for your man, the same with what you put on your body and the jewelry you wear. During the day i'm home and i'm still dressing sexy but I wear shorts and teeshirts most without a bra and i'm a size 38. I'm not going out of my way to look sexy but its what's comfortable.

When I go out I will wear make up and curl my hair and dress attractively and am usually the best dressed woman wherever we go, which isn't often. I have an acquaintance who wears no make up and wears the most unattractive clothes i've ever seen and she's married to a younger man. To me she just doesn't care to go to any trouble for her man. Even at parties or special occasions she is always underdressed and I think its horrible.

My h wouldn't like it if I had surgery on my face or stomach but what he likes or doesn't like doesn't matter if I want it. I don't feel like we have to dress and look the way our husband has told us to. We are our own selves and we should dress the way we want and look the way we want, we are not slaves to be told how to look. Husbands and wives are a team, one shouldn't dictate to the other.

If I had the money I might get surgery to have a flat stomach but my h loves me the way I am and if I look nice he might tell me once in awhile but he's not big on compliments. He likes it, or used to, when I would dress up in a sexy nightie. If you love someone you don't mind going out of your way to look nice for him.

I don't overly think it matters to him if I wear make up or not but he likes the way I look when I go out so maybe i'm wrong. I always try to dress nice and have my hair nice and make up on but lately I havne't been wearing that much make up but I still look nice. Women who care what they look like will do these things.

Now, i'm not saying that a woman who doesn't wear make up or have surgeries will not look nice, but remember that men and women alike base a lot of things on outward appearance. Outward appearances can be decieving if the person is ugly inside, no amount of make up will help that but no woman wants to look older. Age is not my friend, even though I do look about five years younger and i'm 55 too.

But getting older is not something you have to have obsessive behavior about because even if you have surgery it won't last and one day you are going to look your age once again. I don't have a choice in the matter because I can't afford it, so I eat healthy and walk a lot and have thin legs and voluptous breasts but a small tummy which I am working on. My h says if i'm going to lose weight then just walk because surgery is not the answer.

He's ten years older than me and I told you he looks like willie nelson but when I look at him I see his nice smile and beautiful blue eyes and I wouldn't want him any younger. Perhaps our men feel the same way? What he sees in my face is memories and his love for me and I feel I owe it to him to look the best that I can.

But it isn't just for him. I like the way I look and I wear make up for myself and take care of my body for myself. What do you think i'm so upset for when he doesn't seem to notice me? Men are falling all over themselves when they see me on the street and I have a man with ed. It effected my ego at first but then I know my self worth and so I just couldn't understand.

However, i've researched some vitamins and herbs that will help this situation and i'm going to try them out. And I also found some vitamins that can help my arthritus. As for the internet dating sites; i've had a little experience with that also and it was all bad. One just wanted nude pictures and the others were just playing games and even though they put attractive pictures on, i'd bet a thousand dollars they were just some unattractive young men who were posing as someone else.
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Old 23rd June 2011, 06:53 AM   #330
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Hi Baroness...

You are right, makeup is to enhance and not look like heavy application of paint. Like you, I seldom wear makeup with jeans and shirt except a sunblock when out on the boat or walking dogs. I am a fan of good creams that applied at night and on washed skin safeguard skin and keep collagen.

Less is better with older skin, but for dress I darken eyelashes and wear pale shades. My husband compliments me with or without. This is a beach resort area so clothing is casual in summer. Picture African-like humidity and bright sun and there you have coastal Virginia in summer heat. Hairstyles are pulled back or tucked on top of the head in a knot for swimming. Dresses are casual light weight tropical fabrics and skirts or cut off pants. Dresses in pretty pastels or bright ice cream like colors and sun dress styles. Earrings and jewelry worn by most. I wear my rings and watch and a locket or pendant in summer. I'm sorry to say our malls are now full of young women underdressed in torn jeans or too abbreviated tops with midriff exposed. Many overweight, who show far more skin than such a body should. The tattoos on pretty young women almost make me nauseous. This is everywhere now. It truly gives me the shudders to think these girls are somebodys' kid.

The idiot rock stars with micro-mini skirts bred a generation of underdressed girls exposing all. It is pretty disgusting.
What happened to class, modesty and appropriateness. I am sure it is the same in other countries. Sometimes you just sit and watch the sad procession pass by and wonder what these girls mothers must be thinking when they paid for these clothes?
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