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Old 31st March 2017, 01:04 PM   #1
SouthernSpice
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1
Second wife

I am American and Christian, married to a Muslim who lives in Dubai. Originally he was supposed to move to the US but now says he will not leave Dubai and that his Mother is pushing him to marry someone there and have kids, all this after he told me he didn't want kids. I have less than 8 years left to retire from a government job and now he says he wants me to move to Dubai when I retire and that we could arrange visits between now and then but he would be taking a second wife in the meantime!! So now I have to share my new husband with a wife who is younger, who lives there and who will be having kids with him and seeing him all the time while I will see him once or twice a year at best!!I am picturing that if I went there to live it would be a life with almost no time with my husband because he would always be with his second wife and kids even though I am the first wife. Has anyone ever been a second wife or had to deal with another wife in a marriage and what can I expect? I'm thinking it's not going to be something I want to do. In addition, I know his Mother does not approve of me at all, it was quite obvious because I am a lot older than him so I'm thinking I would be ignored or almost snubbed by the family if I actually lived there.
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Old 31st March 2017, 07:27 PM   #2
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,755
Re: Second wife

OK so if you are a Christian then why did you marry a muslim? Are you a practising Christian? Why marry a man who you only see twice a year? Cant he come to where you live to be with you and to get away from his mothers influence?
If he gets another 'wife' then he will be cheating on you and committing adultery, and you are free to end the marriage biblically, and to be honest I think that's the best thing for you. This is no marriage is it and living in a muslim country is no life for a woman.

I think you need to challenge him on this and say that you want him to come and live there and that you wont accept him taking another woman. Tell him that if does that you will end the marriage.
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Old 1st April 2017, 11:43 AM   #3
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,388
Re: Second wife

It does seem a very unusual situation. Whatever the right and wrongs of the past were you are now faced with him having a second wife. So far it is illegal to have a second wife in the west although I know there are many muslims who have ways around that. Apart from law howeve,r there is a clash between muslim and christian religions in this matter. Whilst Islam may allow it Chritianity doesn't. You just have to make your mind up what you want. Live under an Islamic system or a Christian one, if you are a christian. It is up to you to accept this state of affairs or reject it. I don't see that you can be happy by accepting it. Tell him that and see what he says. If he still wants to go ahead then as a christian I would say the only way out is divorce because this would be adultery as Chosen says.
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