is this normal?
i need to check if this is normal in marriage as I have a very poor frame of reference, (that being my mum and dads which i wont get into right now).
I've been with my wife since 2000 and married since 2011. We have different personalities \ interests but make time to let each other indulge them. However for the past few years at least once a day she finds something to criticize me on. Usually when i get home from work she finds something wrong that I've either done, not done, said i was going to do but haven't yet or simply gotten wrong. And it's driving me nuts. I know communication is the key but when I tried to raise this with her last time she got incredibly defensive and hurt by it. Now it just feels like I'm some sort of criticism punch bag she can throw a left hook at when it suits her. I don't want to have a go back for fear of the effect it may have if our child hears it (this is a hang up from when I would hear my dad rowing with my mum), as this is boiling up and I worry I may explode as it all comes pouring out.
She also talks differently to me than she does to others. Even when she answers the phone her voice is bright and full of sunshine as it was when we first started dating. When she talks to me there's a drop in tone and effort. Almost the verbal equivalent of filling in a tax return (!). Our sex life (once frequent and enjoyable) is in the toilet (now once in months and felt hurried) and there's very little intimacy. What really gotten to me though is that i will say 'i love you' out of the blue for no reason and give her a hug. Yet I seriously cant remember the last time she said this out of ending an ordinary conversation on the phone.
Am I just looking for problems where non exist as this is normal in marriage or is there something wrong there? I work a regular job, cover the important \ big bills and pitch in looking after our kid, so I'm not slouching off or being lethargic. Yet she accuses me of not listening to her when I have a lot on my mind? I have considered leaving her on numerous occasions but now we have a child I have dismissed that notion.
Last edited by sadbob; 5th April 2017 at 12:16 PM.
Reason: additional information