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Old 12th May 2012, 09:32 PM   #1
Posts: n/a
Unhappy Wife wants space

Hello all, this is my first time on this anyway here goes I have been with my wife for 13 years and married for 2 1/2 years, we have two girls aged 2 and 12. My wife told me about two weeks ago she no longer has feelings for me and wants some space to sort her head out. The reasons for this are that our fist child was born when she was 18 and we had only been together 9 months when she got pregenant and she has only told me now that she had wanted an abortion, after the child was born we split for 9 months as she felt to young to be tied down, also about ten years ago I was messing around with another girl but never slept with her my wife knew about this at the time but didn't know until a month ago we had kissed despite repeatdly asking me even just before our wedding to lay all the cards on the table. She has also just stopped smoking cannabis after 15 yrs and is suffering depression due to this and old feelings from both the relationship and her child hood have hit her hard. She has been to counselling for this and has now relised that as she is hitting thirty she is regretting not doing things in her life that she has seen her friends do.And to top it all off I don't satisfy her sexually.
I love her to bits and am really sorry for hurting her in the past and don't want to lose her and have agreed to move out to help her sort her head out. I have told her how I feel and have made more of an effort to help out which she has noticed. I know for a fact that there is no one else.
She also undresses in front off me but has not worn her wedding ring for over a month. Please Help
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Old 16th May 2012, 09:33 AM   #2
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Wife wants space

Sounds like more than one problem here LL. I think your wife's head has been turned by something or other. No doubt she has problems but deserting her marriage to try and relive her youth is a bit immature. Marriage, where there is commitment, can be very fulfilling indeed. You were wrong to flirt with someone else and this must have undermined your marriage to a certain extent, but you have put it right it seems and were sorry about it. I think your wife has problems which are nothing to do with you. All you can do is carry on what you are doing just now, showing her practical love when there is opportunity. Really what she needs to do is to commit to you and the children, especially to the one she rejected in her heart, and work through everything from that base. Something was obviously lacking if she had to rely on cannabis. Hopefully she can get through this cold turkey and get free. Going off now is not the best thing for her or anyone in my view.
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