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Old 2nd August 2015, 10:50 AM   #1
ralfgarnett
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For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

I have been reading this passage this morning, it has been recommended to me in order to look inwards retrospectively after 18 years of marriage, this may help those many of us with broken hearts, I do hope so, god bless you all, I hope we all find inner peace sooner rather than later it's the least we all deserve.

.1 Corinthians 13

"If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

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Old 2nd August 2015, 01:54 PM   #2
chosen
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

yes an amazing passage.
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Old 2nd August 2015, 04:03 PM   #3
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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yes an amazing passage.
I can't stop crying I miss her so much.
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Old 2nd August 2015, 07:29 PM   #4
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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I can't stop crying I miss her so much.
Giving you a cyber hug.
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Old 2nd August 2015, 09:26 PM   #5
chosen
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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I can't stop crying I miss her so much.
Of course you do Ralf. Thats normal.
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Old 3rd August 2015, 01:10 PM   #6
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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Of course you do Ralf. Thats normal.
I know Chosen but I don't like it and I don't like feeling this way, I either want a relationship with my wife, or I want to forget about her and move forwards whilst while trying to heal.

I have visited my friend the priest this morning and we had a long talk, about life, love, health, travel, religion, history, he is an extremely learned man, even he can't begin to fathom out why she did what she did and the way she did it, he was telling me that in the last week two men in his congregation have been deserted by their wives, they are both devastated and mortified that this has happened to them.

It begs the question what is up with the world where so much heart ache exists and marriages are so disposable ?, as our good friend NDY says in the opening paragraph of his own thread "it is almost like there is a club of WW's" it's unbelievable just how many marriages are breaking down for what appears to be little or no reason.

I mean what do these people really want out of life ?, are they looking for something that doesn't exist, are they pursuing some kind of magical dream, because if so I can only speak for myself, but my spouse had it all, a deeply loving caring trustworthy husband who would of died for her, a nice safe peaceful home, a good standard of living, a decent enough job, what more can they expect ?.

She wasn't happy with herself which means she will never be happy, same as NDY WW, does she honestly truly think that an affair and breaking up a family will make her happy ?, just as my wife leaves her home of 19 years and around I estimate about 95% of her belongings and is now lodging like a human cuckoo in someone else's nest think that will make her happy ?, it's crazy all totally crazy and I am not sure I will ever understand, to summarise I have 5 simple words to say "till death do us part" .
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Old 3rd August 2015, 01:19 PM   #7
chosen
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

I think that your wife handled this so badly. If she had told you how she was feeling, made every effort to get help(of which there is a lot out there), even said that she would like a set time apart while she was getting that help, looked for another job, then things would be so much better by now. AS it is she merely ran away, has not bothered to get any help, hasnt moved on at all it seems, and still gets panic attacks. Doesnt she realise that things will never change unless she actually DOES something? Hasn't her job taught her ANYTHING?
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Old 3rd August 2015, 02:17 PM   #8
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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I think that your wife handled this so badly. If she had told you how she was feeling, made every effort to get help(of which there is a lot out there), even said that she would like a set time apart while she was getting that help, looked for another job, then things would be so much better by now. AS it is she merely ran away, has not bothered to get any help, hasnt moved on at all it seems, and still gets panic attacks. Doesnt she realise that things will never change unless she actually DOES something? Hasn't her job taught her ANYTHING?
I agree with you fully, yes she has behaved extremely badly, and yes she has ran away like a coward, but what is she running away from, it's not me, it's not our cats, our home, she is running away from the demons in her head, but she can't escape because she can run as fast and as far as she wants but she runs with them in her head.

We are not talking about a foolish uneducated little girl here, we are talking about a university educated healthcare professional with numerous letters after name, in my opinion she is a total disgrace to herself and her profession.

I have said it on here and to her in person, it didn't have to be like this it should and could of been all so very different, she chose the most destructive path for both of us, I am crushed and defeated, even the priest said this morning that I am such a different man than I was pre-July 2014, and he is correct, I have no shame in admitting that I cant help what I'm made of.

I wish her no ill will whatsoever, I don't hate her, but neither do I like her at the moment, I don't even know if I love her any more, I do know that under the right circumstances I could fall deeply for her, I do believe in divine retribution and one day, some how, somewhere, this will bounce back on it's own and bite her on the backside, and when it does then maybe she might just turn to me for help, I doubt it but if she did then it's game set and match Ralfy boy, at that point it would be for me to decide to do the decent thing, or quite simply tell her to get stuffed and get out of my life for good, but only time will tell on that one.
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Old 3rd August 2015, 06:13 PM   #9
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

Hard as it may be to accept but this is about them, not us. This is a path that, rightly or wrongly they chose to take. Why? Doesn't matter why. Knowing why won't change a thing. This is the reality. This is why sorting your own sh!t out and getting on with life is so important.

Imagine yourself in 2 years from now. What does your life look like then? I know I won't be here. I'll be elsewhere and I'll be quite happy. It's all I can do.
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Old 3rd August 2015, 06:58 PM   #10
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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Hard as it may be to accept but this is about them, not us. This is a path that, rightly or wrongly they chose to take. Why? Doesn't matter why. Knowing why won't change a thing. This is the reality. This is why sorting your own sh!t out and getting on with life is so important.

Imagine yourself in 2 years from now. What does your life look like then? I know I won't be here. I'll be elsewhere and I'll be quite happy. It's all I can do.
Aye up mate did you like my you tube link ?, and yes I know this is about them if you read my post that is what I am saying, they have failed not us.

Sorting and getting used to this new life is so difficult I really do struggle with it, 2 years from now who knows, I could of died the other week so I don't really think about it too much, but just recently little by little I have thought about b-ggering off one day, just selling up and going some where else, possibly abroad definitely not in the UK I have had enough of this place so it wouldn't be here there is no point, maybe I could move home to Malta or move home to Ireland I have more family there and I do like a glass of stout or 2 , either way it would be a huge upheaval regardless where I go, if I go.

As you know the health is not too good right now so nothing is going to happen soon if at all, but one thing is clear and that is things need to change and ASAP I cant continue the way I am, I have dropped the rope the best I can where that callous scum bag is concerned, but what about good old Ralfy boy and his kitties and all his clobber ?, who knows maybe I might have an epiphany one day out of no where, one thing I do know is that I am still here, hurting, licking my wounds, but still here, a shadow of his former self but he can re-build, he can prosper, after all I am Ralf not just any ordinary Joe, I have bounced back before I can do it again, I just think the older you get the harder it gets to recover from lifes knocks.
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Old 3rd August 2015, 08:28 PM   #11
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

Ralf I think about that sometimes. I have lived in the town I am in now for 32 years, did move round quite a bit before that, but I ask myself, do I want to live in this town for the rest of my life?(even though its a nice place?). So we both want to move a bit further north(my son and his wife and little boy have just moved to Cumbria) but not too far from my younger daughter who lives quite near us, and we also want a slightly larger house than out tiny little end terrace so that our children/grandchildren can come and stay, so need to go somewhere where the houses are about 30% less to be able to do that, so that lead us to Worcestershire or Gloucestershire(not the cotswolds as they are too expensive). A massive step after so long here, and I would miss my friends so much, but if not now when we are in our late 50's, then when? Sometimes you just have to go for it or regret it later. I have friends who have lived in this area all their lives and I would hate that, and I am quite excited (yet also nervous)to make such a big step.

You dont seem to like where you live, you like the sun, so you have far more reason than we do to to move, so why not?
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Old 3rd August 2015, 08:49 PM   #12
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

Hi Chosen I have been in this ruddy town 50.8 years I don't think the Krays or the great train robbers got that long. I'm not bothered very much about the sun, I have said this before that my favourite place so happens to be in the Med and has scorching hot summers but if it was in Siberia I would still love it, it's not the weather that took us over so much there is so much more to Malta u Ghawdex than that, personally I quite like cool and a bit of rain, I am fed up where I am it's grey, it's old, its antiquated but not in a nice way, it,s miserable too and the people are grey too, that's life in a Northern Town, yes we all feel like running away sometimes, but now is not the time, for health, emotional, and financial reasons, maybe one day but now is not my time, I need to make a very clean break and I wouldn't be doing that if I scarpered now, all I would be doing is running away just like she did, I'm not a coward I need peace of mind, perhaps one day if that happens then I might leave but not until I have found that peace of mind. meanwhile I work hard and ply my trade, the business is still doing ok not great but ok, so I'm not going to starve or be homeless any day soon, but when I leave if I leave it will be with a clear mind, heart, and conscious, sadly now is not that time.

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Old 4th August 2015, 01:29 PM   #13
chosen
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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Hi Chosen I have been in this ruddy town 50.8 years I don't think the Krays or the great train robbers got that long. I'm not bothered very much about the sun, I have said this before that my favourite place so happens to be in the Med and has scorching hot summers but if it was in Siberia I would still love it, it's not the weather that took us over so much there is so much more to Malta u Ghawdex than that, personally I quite like cool and a bit of rain, I am fed up where I am it's grey, it's old, its antiquated but not in a nice way, it,s miserable too and the people are grey too, that's life in a Northern Town, yes we all feel like running away sometimes, but now is not the time, for health, emotional, and financial reasons, maybe one day but now is not my time, I need to make a very clean break and I wouldn't be doing that if I scarpered now, all I would be doing is running away just like she did, I'm not a coward I need peace of mind, perhaps one day if that happens then I might leave but not until I have found that peace of mind. meanwhile I work hard and ply my trade, the business is still doing ok not great but ok, so I'm not going to starve or be homeless any day soon, but when I leave if I leave it will be with a clear mind, heart, and conscious, sadly now is not that time.
I dont see it as running away, but making a fresh start, making good changes and getting to know another part of the country and new people. It wont be easy after so long here but sometimes we need a new challenge and to be stretched.
I have no idea why anyone would remain in a town they hate all their lives. I have lived in places I didnt like and I got out as soon as I could. Its seems such a waste of life to do that ralf.
There are so many nice parts of the country to live in, I have been researching many of them. So many lovelY market towns (which is where I want to live) and villages.
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Old 4th August 2015, 01:37 PM   #14
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

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I dont see it as running away, but making a fresh start, making good changes and getting to know another part of the country and new people. It wont be easy after so long here but sometimes we need a new challenge and to be stretched.
I have no idea why anyone would remain in a town they hate all their lives. I have lived in places I didnt like and I got out as soon as I could. Its seems such a waste of life to do that ralf.
There are so many nice parts of the country to live in, I have been researching many of them. So many lovelY market towns (which is where I want to live) and villages.
Hi Chosen I never said you were running away I meant myself, and I haven't hated this town all my life, it just seems to have gone down the pan even more the past 10-15 years or so, a dead town centre, a dead market place, so many empty shops, the pubs are getting rougher, we laugh because there used to be a number of dodgy nightclubs here, now we say that this town is now too rough to host a rough night club.

I used to be proud of this town, it was great as a kid but now no, it's pretty minging these days partly because there is so little to do here.
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Old 12th November 2015, 08:28 PM   #15
ralfgarnett
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Re: For the broken hearted, 1 Corinthians 13.

Hi Sam, welcome to our little cyber world, you sound an interesting lady, why don't you tell us your story ? we would love to hear it.
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