Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

CDs / Videos

Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us


Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet

In association with:

Marriage books and much more from

Celebrate your marriage with flowers!

Set up your Wedding Registry!

Marriage and divorce advice from

Take our Demographic survey

Family Friendly Site

   Home  > Health Club > Building closeness and intimacy > Articles

The Games People Play, "Communication in Marriage". Part 9

By Norman & Ann Bales Of All About Families



  1. Do you play games at your house? If so, what kinds of games do you play?
  2. Do you ever play "power games" at your house?
  3. What is a power game?
  4. Why do you suppose we play power games?
  5. Who's in control at your house? Who would you say is "the boss?"


  • Comparison of Power and Intimacy

  • Power:
    1. Protects and defends itself against the other person.
    2. Says, "because I feel inadequate, I'm going to work hard to hide my vulnerability and need."
    3. Trusts only its own control over another.
    4. Frustrates intimacy.

  • Intimacy
  • Opens itself up.
  • Says, "because I know I am incomplete on my own, I want you to be part of me."
  • Ventures into an ever more trusting relationship.
  • Takes away the need to wield power.

What has happened when a couple is primarily concerned about who is going to have control?
  • Intimacy is not working for them.

  • Something's gone wrong in their mutual trust, caring, openness, and refusal to have secrets, and unquestioned loyalty to each other.

  • Instead of pursuing intimacy they have taken a fall-back position in which each one is striving to maintain power or rights or territory or all of the above.

  • Trust is compromised. Trust is what motivates people to follow another person's leadership, whether at work or at home. And trust must be earned.

Is there a "good" use of the word "power"?

In this article
- Introduction
- Is there a "good" use of the word "power"?
- What is submission all about?

Bookmark and Share
Printer Friendly
More From this author

- Keeping Your Relationship Fresh
- The Couple's Workstation
- Romance and Love-making
- All you need is love!
- Feelings

Hot Picks
- 6th National Relationship Education Conference
- Take the Couple Check-up!
- Marriage first aid
- Marriage help for friends
- Deepen your love & marriage

- Marriage Help
- Marriage news from around the world
- Coffee Shop Chat - have some fun!!
- Marriage Problems - ask for help!
- Visit the Index

Copyright, All About Families, used with permission.

 2-in-2-1 Today
Take our Couple Checkup - put your relationship on strong foundations by checking out the strengths and growth areas!
Difficulties communicating? - 55 cards to improve your couple communication
What people say about 2-in-2-1 - we thrive on your feedback!
Couples Wanted!! - for TV and press enquiries - tell your story!
Cyber sex and Internet addiction - is the internet threatening your marriage??


Copyright ©1999-2018 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer Privacy Statement