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   Home  > Marriage Clinic > Infidelity and Affairs > Books

Make up or break up

By Mary Williams


Do gloomy statistics about divorce make is too pessimistic about the future of our relationships? Are we too quick to assume that divorce is the least painful way out of a bad marriage? Do we underestimate the fallout of divorce, not just on the children, but also on both partners? The author, a retired counsellor trained by Relate in marital and psychosexual therapy, suggests that we need to be more hopeful about the chances of saving a relationship and gently points out ways in which this can be done, while not underestimating the difficulties.

The key, she says to resolving problems within a relationship is realism - realistic expectations and a realistic view of what is causing the problem. The book aims to help couples explore the dynamics of their relationship and the deep emotional needs of each partner. Having explained how control and power, conflict and intimacy work within a relationship, the author shows how with honesty and flexibility couples can adapt to changing life circumstances. Even after growing apart or an affair, it is possible to restore trust and intimacy and even emerge stronger than before.

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