Keeping up appearances - a block to intimacy?
We don't like to show that we're hurting. When things start going wrong with our husband or wife, it is so easy to shrug it off while inside we're hurting. We keep up the appearance that it doesn't matter to us even though it really does. Peace at any price is not worth having, especially if the price is too high - the price of distance from one another. Surely it's better to build up ways to sort things out constructively between us. If we don't, things will fester and eventually come out in a much more destructive way.
Similarly, if we're hurting or worried, what do we gain from pretending that we can cope. When we do this we push our loved one way. We don't give them the chance to show how much they care and how they love us. We lose an opportunity to draw close to them. Most of us need to know we are loved and cared for. To allow that to happen, we have to let our partner see how much we need them.
Keeping up appearances with our loved ones shuts them out, and doesn't help our relationship to grow. What would you need to do lovingly to be real with your partner today?
Tip by Kate