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   Home  > Tips

How we communicate

In todayís world much communication is visual, videos, CDís, billboards, so why do we so easily assume that communication is only about the words we use. In fact much of what we communicate is more about our body language and our tone of voice than the words that we use. Research suggests that only 7% of what we receive in communication is about the words we use. Our brains are busy taking note of the tone of voice and what the body of the other person is saying. Have you ever tried sorting out a tricky issue over the phone and wished you could be face to face?

Thatís why in marriage, if we are trying to deal with a tricky bit of communication, we need to watch our tone of voice and the way our body is. Thereís a saying that a gentle voice turns away anger. Itís very hard not to react to a sarcastic or accusing tone of voice. In the same way if someone wonít look you in the eye, itís hard to trust what they are saying. Folded arms seem to contradict words of welcome or encouragement.

So if you are going to have a constructive conversation with your loved one, why not take a few minutes first to think about how you are going to use your tone of voice and body language to ensure you are really heard.

Tip by Liz Percival


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