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   Home  > Tips

Pain

"Love sucks. Why do fools fall in love. Love is a series of constant heartaches." Haven't I heard these kinds of phrases, or others like them many times during my life?

I often hear songs on the radio that bring back the pain of love, in the mood of the music, and in the words each singer mournfully cries out. Usually it strikes at the depths of my heart too.

Why does pain seem to be so much a part of love? How can something that is supposed to be so wonderful bring so many tears and heartaches? It seems that because such pain comes to me in the midst of love, or from someone I love most, that love must truly suck at times. Sometimes that pain comes from disappointment, or when I start wanting someone to be different, or when they want me to be different. Maybe if I look closely, I can see that when I felt pain, it was because love had been replaced by wishful thinking, or other hidden desires. Perhaps I, or my partner didn't even realize it was happening.

But when I do look closely, pain has often come hot on the heels of rejection of some kind. Inside, I know that love contains true acceptance, not rejection.

Just for Today

In my heart, I know that genuine love brings joy, not hurt, and that when love brings tears, they should be tears of happiness, or healing.

Today I'll take a closer look at the" love" I experienced in past relationships, and see what needs were disguised as love. In doing so, I'll start restoring my faith in genuine love - something we all deserve.

There are places in the heart that do not yet exist. Pain must be in order that they be. - Leon

Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb


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Copyright, Bernd Hansen andRelationshipweb.com, used with permission.


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