Talents and shortcomings
If I'm like most, I have moments when I
seem to fall short in giving what I think my partner
deserves. Maybe I try to make up for my shortcomings by
making extra efforts in other areas. For example, I feel
less intelligent than my partner, so I spend time and
money trying to look more attractive. Or I feel like a
klutz at cooking, so I pour my efforts into pampering my
partner in other ways to compensate.
When I take an all-or-nothing approach
to my talents, I end up depending more and more on my
partner's praise, or other positive reactions, to boost
my sense of self-worth. Unwittingly, I place increasing
pressure on my partner to be weak in areas that I feel strong,
and end up setting invisible boundaries that they dare
not cross.
My talents are wonderful gifts to be
explored, but I don't have to do everything well.
Whatever I'm capable of is good enough. I may not know
how to cook a gourmet meal, but I can certainly handle
the salad. Or I may not know a hard disk from a slipped
disk, but I can still write a letter on my computer.
Just for Today
Today I'll look at how many activities
I don't share with my partner, because I'm afraid I don't do
them well enough.
Instead of wishing I was better at
things, I'll accept that what I can do is good enough,
and see what new laughter and play we can both have,
simply by sharing more of the things we are wonderful
klutzes at!
Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you
dare think. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb