Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


In association with:

Marriage books and much more from Amazon.co.uk

Celebrate your marriage with flowers!

Set up your Wedding Registry!

Marriage and divorce advice from justask.org.uk

Take our Demographic survey

Family Friendly Site

   Home  > Tips

Unconditional Love

In this relationship, I'm constantly confronted with a paradox: to get unconditional love, how can I love my partner without having the "condition" that they love me back? I know other couples where one seemed to do all the giving, getting very little in return. Often they ended up drained and disillusioned, vowing never to be taken advantage of again.

If I remember that genuine love always gives me back as much or more than I give out, I can begin to find better ways of loving that automatically have their own reward. When I expect something back, I set myself up for disillusionment. For example, when something I do for my partner leaves me feeling hidden resentment, I can usually find my hidden motives lurking underneath. Maybe all I wanted was appreciation or acknowledgment, but no matter what my actual motive is, whenever I want something in return, I'm actually bartering, and my attempts to be loving become frustrating because of that.

Letting go of my wish to have my partner change something about themselves, for example, is loving, because love involves acceptance. As I let go of my desire to change them, I find that my happiness and peace of mind increase as well, because I have one less thing to stew over.

Just for Today

Today I'll try to do one simple, small thing that feels loving, without any expectation of acknowledgement, but just for the sheer pleasure it gives me to do it.

The paradox is clear: what you give out comes back. What you give away is yours to keep. All that you give you give to yourself. - Douglas Bloch

Tip by Bernd Hansen of Relationshipweb


Bookmark and Share
Printer Friendly
More From Bernd

More Tips
- Kindness
- Hugs
- Sex
- A stronger marriage after an affair?!

Hot Picks
- 6th National Relationship Education Conference
-
- Take the Couple Check-up!
- Marriage first aid
-
- Marriage help for friends
- Deepen your love & marriage

Discuss
- Marriage news from around the world
- Coffee Shop Chat - have some fun!!
- Marriage Problems - ask for help!
- Visit the Index

Copyright, Bernd Hansen andRelationshipweb.com, used with permission.


 2-in-2-1 Today
Take our Couple Checkup - put your relationship on strong foundations by checking out the strengths and growth areas!
Difficulties communicating? - 55 cards to improve your couple communication
What people say about 2-in-2-1 - we thrive on your feedback!
Couples Wanted!! - for TV and press enquiries - tell your story!
Cyber sex and Internet addiction - is the internet threatening your marriage??

Top

Visit About.com

Copyright ©1999-2017 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer Privacy Statement