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   Home  > Tips

What love language do you speak?

I shouldn’t need to tell you that I love you, you should know! But how?

Does showing love mean turning up with a bunch of flowers or does it mean spending time together. Perhaps you know you’re loved when your husband holds your hand when you go out shopping? There is more than one way to show love, but most of us have a favourite one and there are some ways we aren’t even aware of. What happens when your loved one doesn’t “speak” your love language – does that really mean they don’t care?

Let’s have a look at the five main languages featured in Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages”.

I know my husband loves me when he wants to spend time with me. It signals to me that I really matter to him, that I’m important and that he’d rather be with me than doing something else.

Physical touch is important too. When he wants to hold my hand, snuggle up on the sofa or give me a cuddle when he comes in from work or even when I’m doing the washing up, then I feel special and close to him.

Perhaps you need to be told that you’re loved. Some people need to hear those words. Others find surprise gifts, tokens of affection are what they value. Yes even doing the hoovering, taking out the rubbish or picking up your dirty clothes can communicate love to some of us.

So what is your favourite love language? How about your husbands? Are they the same? If not, it’s not safe to assume that what sums up love for you will mean the world to your loved one.

One husband came from a family where birthday presents were never exchanged. Each birthday his wife hoped he would remember her special day, but all she got was a longer hug than usual as he headed out for work. He was oblivious to the growing rift between them. The presents she bought for him were opened quickly and little said after the first thank you. He lay awake at night longing to hold her in his arms and show his love for her, while she lay cold on the other side of the bed unwilling to approach him, wondering why he never bought her a gift or surprised her with a bunch of flowers.

Why not sit down and talk to your spouse today and find out how they experience your love.

Tip by Liz Percival


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